I’m working from home from now until Nov 4, when I go in for the last time to turn in my badge, laptop, parking pass, and corporate credit card, used maybe twice in the 10 years I've had it.
It’s a gorgeous, sunny, fall day: warm but not hot, with
a clear blue sky. I have windows open all over the house to let the air in. A
while ago the doorbell rang. When I went to answer it, I saw to my dismay that it
was my crazy neighbor, S: the aging drama queen with the overbleached
blonde hair who drinks a bit and spends her days in velour sweats and slippers.
I have good relationships with all of my neighbors except her. Depending on her mood, I'm either her best friend or "the meanest woman I've ever met!" She clearly has some issues. If I were to guess, I'd say she has borderline personality disorder. With her was a guy from the crew who has been trimming her trees out back: two
beautiful but huge, destructive live oaks whose roots caused me to have to remove my swimming pool, and whose saplings constantly threaten
my fence. Trees which, although they’re on her property, I’ve had to pay to
have trimmed when the branches were on my fence and in my yard “because that’s
on your property”. She and this guy had apparently decided since he was trimming her trees, he might as well also trim mine. He refused to give me a price at first, pointing out branches that in his opinion needed to be removed. I kept asking "How much?" and he finally smiled and exclaimed: "$675.00!" I said "Forget it, I’ll get my own estimates". Then S said, “But your tree is
blocking the streetlight!” I walked
across the lawn with S and the tree trimmer and looked at the tree on the east side of the yard, and the 3 big branches he’d
have to trim to make the streetlight clearly visible. “How much to trim just
those branches?” I asked. He smiled and said, “$675.00, but I will also trim
the other tree!” The crew has done a very poor job with the live oaks out back,
so although I’d consider having them trim back the branches that were partially
obscuring the light, I wasn’t about to have them do anything else. I said again
that I wasn’t interested in having him do anything except remove the branches
which were obscuring the streetlight, and I was not paying $675 to have that
done. The guy protested, “But $675.00 is a good price!” and added, “I’ll let
you do 2 payments!” I said, “Forget it, I don't have $675.00, and even if I did, I wouldn't spend it to have 3 branches trimmed; I’ll get my own estimates."
To my astonishment, S then began walking around and yelling, “See, you only care about yourself! I’ve noticed you have money to spend on a new roof, and money to have your fence pressure washed and restained, and who knows what else you’re doing, but it's clear you only want to spend money on what you want to have done so you can sell your house. YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT MY SAFETY!”
To my astonishment, S then began walking around and yelling, “See, you only care about yourself! I’ve noticed you have money to spend on a new roof, and money to have your fence pressure washed and restained, and who knows what else you’re doing, but it's clear you only want to spend money on what you want to have done so you can sell your house. YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT MY SAFETY!”
?!?!?!??!!?
I thought 'You've got that right', but since she's clearly nuts, I didn't say it out loud.
The guy then said, “You name the price! How much will you pay?” I looked at the 3 big branches he’d have to trim and said, “$200.00”. He said "No way!" so I repeated, “Fine, I’ll get my own estimates.” S stomped off, continuing to yell things at me all the way back to her house. I looked at her and muttered, “Always a pleasure, S”.
The guy then said he’d remove the 3 branches for $375. Still too high, but the branches did need trimming, and it would be over and done with, so I wrote him a check. It took one of his workers 10 minutes, tops, to do it.
The guy then said, “You name the price! How much will you pay?” I looked at the 3 big branches he’d have to trim and said, “$200.00”. He said "No way!" so I repeated, “Fine, I’ll get my own estimates.” S stomped off, continuing to yell things at me all the way back to her house. I looked at her and muttered, “Always a pleasure, S”.
The guy then said he’d remove the 3 branches for $375. Still too high, but the branches did need trimming, and it would be over and done with, so I wrote him a check. It took one of his workers 10 minutes, tops, to do it.
The
streetlight is now clearly visible. As to whether or not that will make S feel safe, I have my doubts. If she follows her usual pattern, though, the tantrum means for the next few weeks I'll be free of having to deal with her. Selling this house can't happen soon enough.
