Things I Did Today

1. Participated in and filmed a protest of Trump's proposed wall between the US and Mexico, his ban on Muslims, his proposed cabinet members, etc. with Move On at Ted Cruz's Dallas office;

2. Completed and filed my 2016 federal income tax return;

3. Paid my COBRA insurance premium, bill received just today but due tomorrow (thank goodness there's an online option, sheesh);

4. Set up automatic payments for future COBRA insurance premiums.

Thoughts on a dark Sunday

Earlier this week I chatted online, briefly, with a family member who is an avid Trump supporter. As I raised my objections to various Trump policies he blithely dismissed all of my objections, and I realized, with a shock, that like so many Trump supporters, he doesn't object to anything that doesn't affect him directly. This family member, who is in his 50's, is not a narcissist but he's completely egocentric. This is a developmental stage he should have grown out of at about age 7, but for some reason he didn't. He hasn't had a traumatic brain injury (which might explain it) but for whatever reason, his cognitive development is stuck at a preoperational stage. I wonder if this isn't the case for a lot of Trump's avid supporters?

Dark Days Ahead

Today Donald J. Trump was inaugurated as the 45th President of the United States. To say I'm depressed is an understatement. I don't know what's wrong with him, but it's obvious that something is very wrong with him, and I don't believe he will make it through 4 years without being impeached. But he can do a lot of damage in the meantime, and if he's impeached, that will leave us with Pence, who if anything is even worse. Trump's incoming staff has already begun to take steps to abolish the National Endowment of the Arts and to privatize PBS and NPR. I didn't watch the inauguration. I couldn't stand it. Instead, I spent the day applying for jobs. I doubt anyone will hire me, but I have to apply for at least 4 each week to collect unemployment benefits. Yesterday I did my taxes online, but I have to wait to complete them because I haven't received the form from Capital One with the specifics on refinancing the house. But everything else is done. I'm tired and achy and depressed. The future is completely uncertain.

Happy Birthday, Katharina!

Happy Birthday, beautiful girl!

Longing for Innisfree

Yesterday I deactivated my Facebook account.  I'm no Luddite, but I loathe Zuckerberg and his algorithms, and I'm happy to no longer be a part of that. After deactivating my account, I spent a happy day cleaning my house, including getting down on my hands and knees and washing the dining room floor and the stairs with warm water into which I'd added a generous amount of Murphy's Oil Soap, which always leaves a delicate, clean scent that I love. I made myself a nice lunch, and ran some errands. When I got home again, I curled up with both cats on the chaise in my bedroom and read several chapters of A Man Called Ove, a book which I'm thoroughly enjoying. And when I went to bed last night, I felt more calm and at peace than I have in months.

The Lake Isle of Innisfree, by W.B. Yeats

I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,
And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made:
Nine bean-rows will I have there, a hive for the honey-bee;
And live alone in the bee-loud glade.

And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping
     slow,
Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket
     sings;
There midnight’s all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,
And evening full of the linnet’s wings.

I will arise and go now, for always night and day
I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;
While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements grey,
I hear it in the deep heart’s core.

Voldemort wins

The unthinkable has happened: Donald Trump has won the election. My mistake was thinking the election stuff would be over on November 8th. If Hillary had won, it would have been pretty much over for me, in a good way. I'd be following the news to see whom she was considering for cabinet positions, but I'd have a general sense of wellbeing as I did this. Instead, the unthinkable has happened and I (and millions of others) have been plunged into a despair and sense of dread that I've only felt previously a few times in my life, with the death of someone close to me.

Oh Happy Day!

This is the last day that my desk will look like this. Tonight, after I sign off, I'll disconnect everything, and tomorrow I'll make the final long drive to Fort Worth to turn everything in. It feels so good.