My younger brother's 22-month-old granddaughter, Hailey, drowned on Sunday. I cannot even begin to imagine what her parents, and my brother, Dave, and her other grandparents and the rest of her family are going through.
I have no words of wisdom or of comfort.
"I'm sorry," seems incredibly inadequate, but I am sorry.
Eric Clapton had the misfortune to lose his 4 year old son, Conor, in 1991, and whether one is religious or not, his eloquent words about grief and loss are better than anything I could ever say:
Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven
Will it be the same
If I saw you in heaven
I must be strong,
and carry on
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven
Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven
I'll find my way,
through night and day
Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven
Time can bring you down
Time can bend your knees
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please
Begging please
Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven
Will it be the same
If I saw you in heaven
Beyond the door
There's peace I'm sure.
And I know there'll be no more...
Tears in heaven
19 comments:
What sad news!
My heart goes out to you and your family...
Oh no, I am so sorry to hear this. Take care of yourselves. It's so hard to lose a child.
I'm very sorry to hear about your family's loss.
Oh my goodness Judi! That is so horrible to hear that I got chills. I'm very sorry! My heart goes out to all who loved her.
Sweet angel, rest in peace.
XXOO
Oh, Judi, I am so sorry.
Oh, Judi, this is so sad. I cannot imagine losing such a sweet young child. Words are not adequate. My prayers are with you and your family.
And thank you for the words to Kat Stevens' song for his son--better words than the rest of us have.
really tragic... there are so few words... yours were sad and hopeful.
Judi, just coming back to tell you that you have been in my thoughts all day. I'm sure you and your family are trying to absorb this tragedy and make some sense out of it. I look forward to seeing you back here, but not before you're ready. Take care.
Judi, I am so sorry to hear of your family's loss. The death of a child is right up there with the loss of a spouse as the hardest of things to endure. As an old friend of mine has said to me, "my wish is for white light to surround you." Peace.
I think that to be the greatest loss of all...I am tearful.
Love TJ
Very sorry, Judi. A tragedy.
I am sorry too, Judi.
Love to you.
"I'm sorry is adequate." It isn't what you say, it's that you say something and let them know that you're sharing their grief.
And, I'm sorry.
I am so so so sorry.
When my dd was about six months younger, a colleague's daughter who was about the same age as your grand-niece drowned. I remember hanging up the phone and just wailing like a banshee. I imagine that you have been doing quite a bit of that.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
zNo one should ever have to bear the loss of a child or grandchild. That is so sad. Our hearts are with you and your family.
Chris
My Blog
Omg Judi... I am so so sorry... I just started to cry... I am so incredibly sorry... I wish I'd read this sooner... All my prayers... I wish I could do more... Losing a child is so difficult... I can't even imagine...
Much love,
~Lily
It's the 18th of July and I have just returned from Mn where I have just went through the most difficult time of my life. I don't know if my sisters blog is the place I should be writing my thoughts but after reading her post and the comments she received I took it upon myself to do so. Since my sons mother called me on the 9th to tell me of this horrible accident it has been an emotional nightmare. My son and his girlfriend have began to live the most difficult tragedy there is to endure and at such young ages, he is 23 she is 20. As a parent I have tried to console them as much as is possible as has his mother and his girlfriends parents and family. The sad thing is you can't return things to normal, all you can do is try to be there to give them emotional support. I realize that this is Judi's blog and that your comments are to her. But I also know that as Hailey's grandpa it's comforting to know that so many of you are touched by the loss of a small child who you knew nothing of. Hailey was a joy to everyone who came in contact with her, she lived only 21 months and a few days but it was all time spent happily she was and still is loved very much by many people. Judi is a wonderful sister and I love her very much. Thank you Judi for including me in your blog, and thanks to all of your readers for there comments and there concern about my sweet little granddaughter. Thanks to all.
David:
I can certainly see the double bind you are in. Of course you are grieving for that precious little child, but you are also so very sad for your son. It must be a painful thing to watch your own child go through, and you can't stop the pain. It's almost like two deaths, because your son's loss and the effect it has on him is a death, too. Your son is so young. The child's mother is so young. It's got to be tough to live in this shadow, in this tragedy and know you can't undo it. You are truly lucky to have Judi. She is bright, full of love and light. Family is what can get you all through this.
Judi, I am so sorry. You and your family are in my prayers.
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