Word of the Day: Canary

I've spent the evening trying to think up a clever title for this blog; this being Dallas, and June, and 98 degrees or some such temperature, I've also spent approximately an hour watering various plants, front and back (front and back of house, not front and back of plants)...this after spending almost an hour planting 4 guara (guara lindheimeri),2 bougainvillea, a couple of shasta daisies and some moss roses that were languishing in their nursery pots; I've made myself a decent margarita that I drank while watching Deadliest Catch on the Discovery Channel, to wash down my SouthBeach-compliant dinner of green olives with slices of Extra-Sharp Cheddar (I know, I know, the margarita is NOT SB-compliant); and, having done all that...I've been thinking about dating at 50-something (I'm 55) and more specifically, internet dating...of which I've done (and may continue to do) my share...

I've had a couple of long-term relationships that came about as a result of internet dating, the most recent of which ended in January...anyway, by long term, I mean 18 months...18 months seems to be a sort of watershed mark for me in terms of dating; so far, since my divorce, after 26 years of marriage, in December 1999, I haven't had a dating relationship that's lasted longer than 18 months...although I've made some good friends, and the friendships have lasted considerably longer than 18 months...anyway, I have a profile up on 4 internet dating websites, nevermind which ones...and I get my share of responses...but to my dismay, I always seem to attracted the Walking Wounded...

I'm currently Unemployed (defnitely a subject for another entry)...and it's occurred to me that there's a job that I never see listed on Monster.com for which I'm Made in Heaven, and that is, the 21st century equivalent of the Mine Canary...for those of you who don't catch this reference, canaries were used in coal mines as recently as 1986 as an Early Warning System to warn miners of Toxic Gases, e.g., carbon monoxide or methane...perhaps you've seen this on old black and white movies; a miner would walk through a darkened mine with his headlamp shining faintly on a happily singing canary...but if the canary suddenly stopped singing or, even worse, dropped DEAD...then the miner knew he needed to get the %*%#! out of there....I'm like that with guys: doctors, lawyers, architects, captains of industry...no matter how high-functioning they appear, if they're attracted to me, they're about to have a breakdown/midlife crisis, etc...maybe Donald Trump or President Bush could hire me (Note: I'd never actually, under any circumstances, consider working for the Shrub, in any capacity). I'd get all gussied up and walk through Trump's offices or The White House (see disclaimer, above)...and they'd know, whoever's attracted to me...no matter how stable he appears...he's Not Sound, and he needs to be given a Leave of Absence while he sorts it out...

Word of the Day: Canary