Oh, Tanenbaum...

I put away Christmas decorations today. I removed the garlands from the stairs, and from outside the front door, and I removed all the ornaments from the tree. It’s a sad task, and one that left me nostalgic for the days when I was a young married mother with 4 young children, all at home.

In those days, I always put up the tree right after Thanksgiving, and I didn’t take it down until the 12th day of Christmas, January 5th, so that we could enjoy it as long as possible. I always did the lights myself, and literally spent several nights twining a couple thousand tiny white Italian lights through all the branches, getting them just so. Once the lights were on, the kids knew they’d get to hang the ornaments.

On that day, they’d rush home from school, and hurry impatiently through dinner and homework. Once the kitchen was cleaned up and the dishwasher running, we’d begin. With tapes of carols playing in the background, and with mugs of cocoa and a plate of Christmas cookies, we’d spend a long, happy evening together taking our time hanging the ornaments. Each of them had a few that they’d always hang themselves. Alex always hung the baby Jesus in half a walnut shell, that I bought for her at Crate & Barrel on Michigan Avenue in Chicago for her first Christmas in 1976; Katharine always hung the Hallmark pressed glass crescent moon with star and angel that I bought for her at Marshall Field’s in Chicago for her second Christmas, in 1979; Mike and Chris always hung the set of wooden firemen (and what a dilemma; there were 3 firemen, so they always let me hang one), that I bought for them at Crate & Barrel in Dallas when they were 3, in 1988. My own favorite, and the one that I always insisted on hanging myself, is a Chinese red wooden swan with woven wings that I received as a wedding gift in December, 1973.

We used to do theme areas on the tree. The kids got a kick out of hanging all of the cat ornaments beneath the bird and fish ornaments, and we had a Santa section, and a fishing boat section, etc., etc. I have a zillion tiny European wooden ornaments, and lots of beautiful blown glass ornaments. I don't know how many ornaments I have, but I've been collecting them for over 30 years, and I have boxes of them.

This year, with all the chicks out of the nest, I considered not putting this tree up. After all, this tree is BIG, 10 feet tall, and at the risk of sounding like a curmudgeon, it just seemed like too much work. But when I realized everyone would be here on Christmas Eve, there was no question I’d put up this tree, and the garlands, and the zillion lights. I didn’t hang many ornaments, though. Hanging them alone just leaves me feeling sad, and hanging them is so personal, I can’t bring myself to invite friends to help me do it. It’s strictly a family sort of thing, but Katharine and Brenden had their own tree to decorate, as did Chris and Stephanie, and Alex was in Chicago, and Mike in Tucson, and hanging ornaments has never been Anthony's favorite thing...so I only hung a few ornaments, but still, it looked beautiful.

Mike leaves for college again on Wednesday morning, so tonight, with all the other detritus of Christmas packed away, he and Chris were going to take down the tree for me and put that away, too, until next year. Waiting for them, I plugged in the tree. Denuded of ornaments, but still brilliant with a couple thousand lights, it had it’s usual effect on me.

Mesmerized, I sat in the living room and just gazed into it for a while. Mike came home and joined me. He said, "I feel like I haven’t had a chance to do this this year; everything has gone by so quickly." I nodded in agreement, and we sat there together for a bit, reminiscing. Eventually, Chris showed up. He walked into the living room, looked at the tree and sat down with us. The three of us sat staring at the lights for a while, without saying anything, and then Chris said, "We can do this tomorrow night."

And I guess we will, but...I wonder...do you think it would be too weird to just leave it up until next year? Because there’s something very nice about all those lights...