A Man Among Men...

I wrote this, and posted it on my old AOL blog, two years ago. Bear with me, there's a reason I'm posting it again...

A Night at The Symphony - October 2005

I didn't make it to the nail salon today. I was on my way there when I got a phone call from Katharine (coincidentally my symphony date this evening). Originally, I'd planned to pick her up at her house in Richardson so we could drive to the concert together, in one car, but she called just before 6:00 to tell me she was still at work, ergo still downtown, and wondered if we could we just meet at the symphony. She sounded tired and said she'd been so busy she hadn't eaten all day, so I suggested we both drive immediately to the Meyerson for an early dinner before the symphony. I didn't have to twist her arm.

By 7:00 we were seated at one of the many small tables covered with crisp white tablecloths in the vast lobby of the Meyerson. Kath ordered a glass of chardonnay and I ordered one of merlot, and then we walked through the buffet line, where we helped ourselves to a couple of kinds of pasta, salad, and bread, with dessert and coffee to follow. I couldn't help but think that this was a very civilized way to begin an evening at the symphony.

The program was Shostakovich's 9th Symphony and Copeland's Clarinet Concerto, followed by Schuman's 2nd Symphony. Kath attended high school just down the street from the Meyerson , at Booker T. Washington High School for the Performing Arts in Dallas. Booker T is as close to the old tv show, Fame, as any high school is ever going to get. A lot of very talented kids have gone there; Nora Jones was one of Katharine's classmates. Admission to Booker T is by audition, but many who try don't make it; Katharine was successful, and her instrument was clarinet, so she had a special interest in this concert.

I don't subscribe to the DSO. I bought these tickets on a whim, at the last minute, and I wasn't sure where our seats were located, but I really lucked out: our seats were front center orchestra. Wellllllllll...not RIGHT in front, but who wants to be right in front? I'm not going to be specific about where we sat, because if I did, names might have to be changed to protect the innocent, or we might be killed, etc. Suffice it to say we were close enough to see the stage well...REALLY well.

And so the concert began. The Shostakovich was wonderful,and the Copeland was incredible, a terrific performance by a virtuoso clarinetist. At intermission we went to the lobby; we discussed the music and watched people and talked home repairs, a favorite topic for both of us.

After intermission, as we got settled in our seats to enjoy the Schuman, I realized that in these seats, my eyes appeared to be at the crotch height of all of the musicians. I don't know why I didn't notice this rather interesting phenomenon during the first half of the concert, but I didn't (maybe that glass of merlot was a little more effective than I thought it was...whatever)...but suddenly, after intermission...it was as if my old eyes had just figured out how to focus, and, without thinking about it, I scanned what I could see on the stage...nothing very interesting, (nothing I hadn't seen before) until...***WHOA!!!***

The musicians were still tuning their instruments. I nudged Kath. "Check it out...the lap of the guy to the (I'm not even going to say Right or Left here) of Andrew Litton..." (for all you non-Texans, Andrew Litton is the conductor of the DSO). Kath gave me a rather wilting look, that said, without her actually saying it, "MUH-THUR!", but she looked...I watched her eyes scanning...and then, just as the lights went low and the music started, she saw what I'd seen...and I saw her eyes go wide...and then we both began to try to not laugh (especially because we both have a tendency to snort when we really get laughing)...

WHAT WE SAW: How shall I put this delicately? Ummmmmmmmm...there was a veritable...tent...in the lap of one of the musicians. I mean, it was...HUGE. And this guy just looked like...well...just an ordinary guy. Not even ordinary...a little on the dweeby side. And he was of an age...well, let's just say, if he and I were having a conversation, he'd get my context. By which I mean, if I said, "So where were you when Kennedy was shot?" he wouldn't blurt out, "Good God! Ted Kennedy's been SHOT?" Nevertheless, in spite of his dweebiness, in spite of his age, there it was...this...tent...with apparently an active three-ring circus beneath it...in marked contrast to all the other male musicians around him.

I tried not to stare, but I couldn't help myself...

At one point I thought it must be a fanny pack, and that he must have something in it; like a big kerchief in case he perspired or something.

But then it appeared to move.

On it's own.

I've never seen a kerchief in a fanny pack do that.

I didn't stare throughout all 4 movements of the Schuman; I SWEAR I didn't (and if Kath says otherwise, she's lying). But I admit I stared intermittently during all 4 movements, expecting to see the tent...deflate. But it didn't happen. Anxiously, I awaited the end of the concert. I applauded impatiently, waiting for that magic moment, when all the musicians stand...and it happened, as it must; eventually they all stood, and when they did, I admit my eyes were glued to the tent which just...disappeared.

Standing, he looked like every other male musician on the stage. Welllllll...perhaps his trousers were a little more...pleated?...in front...but maybe not. Kath thinks it was just cheap fabric, tenting in his lap as cheap fabric will sometimes do.

Maybe she's right.

I don't know.

I just wish I knew the size of his feet.

***********************************************

That was 2 years ago. Tonight, I attended an open rehearsal at the Meyerson to hear the DSO play one of one of my alltime favorite pieces of music: Beethoven's 9th symphony. It will be formally performed this Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, but all performances have been sold out for some time, so I was happy and excited to be invited to attend the open rehearsal. There was open seating at tonight's rehearsal, and so of course I sat in my favorite section: main floor, center. An open rehearsal is exactly what the name implies: a rehearsal, but with an audience in attendance. Because it's a rehearsal rather than a performance, no one is dressed up; the musicians and even the conductor tend to wear blue jeans, running shoes, etc.

Which all of them did tonight, including the, uh...previously mentioned violinist. And I'm posting this update as a public service, because I couldn't help but notice, that even in blue jeans, the dweeby violinist is...ahem...A Man Among Men.

Pool Deconstruction, Day 1

So this is the machine that is here today, taking out my pool. I love the head. Doesn't it look like a dinosaur? They need me to paint the eyeball green...




























There's a wrecking ball attached to this, and they swing it around, breaking up the concrete. The sound is deafening, plus the earth literally shakes...several neighbors have dropped by to check it out, but...fearless Mia (see pic below) went right out there to check it out for herself.

























That cat is afraid of NOTHING....


Check out how one side of the caterpillar hangs out over the edge of the pool...I was worried it would go right on in, however, I seem to be the only person who was worried about that...

Pool Removal Eve...

I'm taking a break from editing a couple of papers for Mike and writing a friend...

Mike's first paper was interesting; he'd gone to hear Ann Fessler, author of a book I want to read, “The Girls who went Away – The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade.” and he had to review the lecture and accompanying exhibit.

Meanwhile, the last of the water in the pool is being pumped into the alley. The pool (like my house) is almost 30 years old. It was a nice, big (30,000 gallons), deep gunite pool, however, a couple of light years ago my then neighbor, Floyd (who was a GREAT neighbor, and it didn't hurt that he was handsome too) planted two live oak seedlings near my fence, and those trees are now...hmmm, I dunno, maybe 60' high? And their roots have done a number to the deck (and probably the plumbing), to say nothing of the bags and bags and bags of leaves and acorns that I've had to clean out each year...and yet, in spite of the mess, I love those trees...

And this year, the pool badly needed replastering, so I started looking into the cost of renovating it, only to discover how prohibitively expensive a proposition that was, at which time, it occurred to me...I'd like a firepit back there! And so I decided to have the pool removed. The usual thing down here is to jackhammer the pool into oblivion and then cover up the mess, but that's not my style (plus you can end up with a sinkhole, or so I've read), so I'm having the pool completely removed.

I did check out was whether I could convert it into an underground cistern (the answer is no). Sooooooooo...eventually, there'll be a firepit back there...first, though, I badly need a new fence. I think the neighbors are going to have a party when I do that...and the fence guy is showing up tomorrow, too, to measure so he can give me an estimate...

What I Did Today

1. I drove the zillion miles (51, actually) to Fort Worth, where I worked eleven and a half hours straight, then drove the additional 51 miles back home (that's me whining, about my commute).
2. I looked online to see if there are any tickets available for Beethoven's Ninth this week...so far, no luck.

What I Did Today

1. I got up at 5:00 so that Anthony & I could take Mike to the airport for his flight back to AZ.
2. I washed, dried, folded and put away the dining room tablecloth, napkins, etc., from Thanksgiving.
3. I changed out the Thanksgiving decorations in my house (candles, wreath, dried flowers, table runner, etc.) with the winter/Christmas things.
4. I went to Drawnames.com and signed up our family to draw names for Christmas.
5. I had breakfast at LaMadeleine, in front of the fire.
6. I removed the rest of the landscaping bricks from the backyard in preparation for having the pool removed.

What I Did Today

1. I got up late, and then picked up Anthony and drove to Mia’s, where we had lunch (brisket tacos for me with flour and corn tortillas) with Mike, Katharine and Xander.
2. I spent a luxurious afternoon talking with Mike, home for Thanksgiving from his junior year at UA. It’s a dreary, wet, cold grey day, but we were quite cozy in the living room, each of us curled up on one of the two brown velour slipcovered couches, facing each other, all comfortable with pillows and throws and a fire in the fireplace.
3. I moved more of my landscaping bricks from the backyard to the patio in preparation for having the pool removed next week.
4. I spent a frustrating 45 minutes, with Mike, unsuccessfully trying to access two programs on my work-issued laptop that I must be able to access to work from home.
5. I paid various bills and filed the paperwork in the appropriate binders.
6. I read more of Russell Martin’s fascinating book, Beethoven’s Hair.
7. I spent some time playing the vocabulary game at Free Rice. If you haven't visited this site, check it out. It's a neat way to increase your vocabulary and do some good at the same time. You'll see a word with four possible definitions; for every word you get right, an international aid agency donates 10 grains of rice to the hungry. Sound too good to be true? Snopes says it's legitimate. The highest vocabulary level is 50; so far, the highest level I've reached is 46.

What I Did Today

I've stolen this exercise from one of my favorite writers and fellow bloggers, Theresa Williams. Check her out if you haven't already done so.

1. I slept in until a little after 10:00. This is highly unusual for me, but as it was a little after 4:00 when I went to bed last night, I don’t feel too guilty about it.
2. I took Mike to meet A for breakfast at Bagelstein’s.
3. I spent some time looking at art on eBay.
4. I called The Nasher to accept an invitation that I received for a reception on November 30th.
5. I took Mike to The Nasher, where we had a late lunch before perusing the Gaston Lachaise exhibit (which was terrific).
6. I took Mike for a quick walk through the DMA, where we looked at a Rothko and a Pollock before heading home.
7. In anticipation of having my pool removed, I looked at the portfolios of half a dozen local landscape architects on the net (and despaired a little; none of them appears to have done work for families with yards like mine, which happens to be significantly smaller than a football stadium...).
8. I joined Mike, Chris and Anthony for our traditional post-holiday family flick. We went to see the Coen brothers latest film, No Country for Old Men (based on Cormac McCarthy’s book of the same title, said title taken from the first line of Yeats’ poem, Sailing to Byzantium). An excellent, if incredibly grim, film.
9. I prepared a quick late night supper of Thanksgiving leftovers for Anthony, Mike and me which we ate sitting around my kitchen table.
10. I accepted my brother Dave’s invitation to be his friend on Facebook.

Thanksgiving 2007

So the plan was that there were to be 6 of us for Thanksgiving at my house this year: Anthony, me, Katharine, Alexander, Chris, and Mike, who was flying in from Arizona where he attends college at UA. It's so easy to get caught up in the crazy and busy aspects of this season; to become annoyed by little things; to become impatient...but that is always a mistake, and today I was reminded of that.

Mike’s flight was due in at 9:55 AM; A and I were driving to the airport to pick him up. Mike reached me on my cellphone at 9:45, on my way to the airport. He told me he was on the ground in Lubbock, where his plane had made an emergency medical landing because of a sick child. Unfortunately, in making the landing, something that regulates the plane’s cabin pressure had stopped working, and so the flight was grounded until that could be fixed.

Hours passed, but thanks to cellphones, we had pretty much ongoing communication with Mike. Normally, if there’s a mechanical problem that can’t readily be fixed, the airlines would simply deboard the plane and put all the passengers on another flight. However, there aren’t a lot of flights out of Lubbock, so for several hours all of the passengers on that flight were stranded.

In Dallas, we considered our options. Katharine and Chris were willing to get into Katharine’s car and drive to Lubbock to pick up Mike, but Lubbock is 350 miles from Dallas, so that would have been a looooooonnnnggg drive. We looked on the net to see whether Mike could rent a car, but he’s under 25 and it was snowing in Lubbock, so that didn’t seem like the best option. We also looked to see if we could find any additional flights out of Lubbock. Hours passed, and eventually, the airlines decided they would try to fly the plane back without cabin pressure, at a much lower altitude than usual. Apparently, all of the luggage had to be removed from the cargo hold to do this, but when that was done...voila...the cabin pressure returned. The cargo hold was then repacked, and Mike (and all of the other passengers) finally arrived, safely, in Dallas at a little after 4:00 PM, where Katharine, Xander and Chris picked up Mike at the airport. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner together, a little later than originally planned, but that hardly matters.

Re the child for whom the emergency landing was made...Mike didn’t know what the emergency was, but he said the child was a young boy whom Mike estimated to be perhaps 12 years old. Like Mike and Chris, the boy was a twin, whose brother and parents were also on the flight. Before the decision was made to land in Lubbock, two doctors on the plane had examined the boy, and both agreed that the plane needed to put down immediately so he could be hospitalized to receive emergency medical care. Mike said the boy was conscious and able to walk from the plane, but that he looked dizzy and disoriented, and that his parents were both crying as they walked with him from the plane.

Ouch. I don’t know what condition that child has, but my heart goes out to him and his family. Most of the time, whether we realize it or not, most of us are so incredibly lucky...to be alive, to be healthy, to be loved and able to love...and today I was reminded of that.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Happy Birthday Katharina!

Some girls get singing chickens at work on their birthdays...

29 years ago yesterday, Katharina was born, at home, in Chicago. We're doing the family celebration of her birthday tonight. I called her yesterday and asked where she'd like to go for dinner. "I dunno," she said, and then she added, wistfully, "I'd really just like someplace small and intimate, where we could have a nice dinner and sit around and talk afterward..." "Let me think about that and get back to you," I said.

In five minutes I called her back. "I know just the place, but of course you can opt for something else if you'd rather..." I described it. She agreed.

So it's all set: tonight, Katharine, Chris, Stephanie and I are having dinner at home. The weather has finally turned cool, so we'll start with cheese and crackers and glasses of champagne in front of the fireplace. Then Chris and I are grilling the flank steak (which is marinading in the refrigerator as I write), with which I'll serve asparagus with hollandaise, orange basted carrots, new potatoes and a tossed salad, followed by birthday cake...

And the only voices we'll be talking over will be each other's, and we can sit at the table, or move to the couches in the living room, when we feel like it...Happy Birthday, Katharina!

7 sins meme...

I stole this from Terroni...

WRATH
With whom did you last get angry? With The Liar, of course...don’t ask...
What is your weapon of choice? My tongue...I’m capable of scathing criticism...
Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? Hit ON for sure, but no, I can’t imagine hitting anyone....
How about the same sex? See above, except that I wouldn’t hit ON anyone of the same sex
Who was the last person who got really angry with you? I dunno...I’m sure there’s someone, but usually, I try to use humor when things start to get heavy, to defuse the situation...
What is your pet peeve? I hate it when guys blow their nose in a napkin at dinner...I’ve never seen a woman do it. It’s totally gross, guys!
Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? Ha! I have Attention Deficit Disorder, and one of the big advantages is that I can’t usually remember who I’m supposed to be mad at, or why. If someone behaves badly, I tend to keep my distance, but I’m pretty good natured, and don't hold grudges...

SLOTH
What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't? Exercise...
What is the latest you've ever woken up? Dunno...although I’m not a morning person, I’ve never required much sleep...
Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't. David Clark...my best friend from the U of C...
What’s the last lame excuse you made? I voted against doing monthly potlucks at work, saying, "I don’t want to transport food all that distance..."
Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through? No, I fall asleep watching infomercials, every time!
How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock this morning? Once...

GLUTTONY
What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? Starbuck’s cappuccinos...they aren’t even that good!
Are you a meat eater? Oh yeah, I’m a total carnivore...although I had scallops for dinner tonight, and can easily go for weeks without eating red meat...still, a few times a year, there aren’t many things I enjoy more than a bloody filet mignon...
What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting? Hmmmmmm, I dunno...my younger brother could probably answer this for me better than I can, as he witnessed it (I was maybe 21 at the time)...
Are you comfortable with your drinking and eating habits? I’m totally comfortable with my drinking habits these days, but re eating...no, I know that I need to give up most carbs, because it's clear that I’m not exactly metabolizing them efficiently...
Do you enjoy candy and sweets? Not particularly...a little goes a long way with me, although I confess to a love of dark chocolate with chipotle or curry...
Which do you prefer: sweet, salty, or spicy? Salty, every time...
Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, "lunch"? Ewwwwwww...no, I haven’t...

GREED
How many credit cards do you own? Probably 20 or 25...but usually, I just use my American Express
If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it? Pay off the mortgage, book a 10-day river rafting trip for me, my kids and their significant others, and my ex, and probably save the rest for retirement...
Would you rather be rich or famous? Rich. I love my privacy.
Would you accept a boring job if it meant that you would make megabucks? Sheesh, I’ve done exactly that, minus the megabucks. I settled for a decent salary with good health benefits, but until you yourself have worked places for very little money, where employee abuse is rampant, don’t knock it...

PRIDE
What's one thing that you have done that you're most proud of? Against all odds, I completed college and grad school...
What's one thing you have done that your parents are proud of? I think my mom was proud that I went to college...I don’t remember her ever saying so, though.
What would you like to accomplish late in your life? There are LOTS of things...but if I have to pick one...I dunno, I ‘ve always wanted to learn to play the piano...
Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? That depends...if it’s something where I expected to come in first, then yes, for sure...
Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than the other competitors? No...to me, that would be incredibly lame, and I like to be able to look myself in the eye when I’m brushing my teeth each morning...
Have you ever cheated to get a better score? No, but I’ve lied to my therapist...
What did you do today that you're proud of? I ate a healthy breakfast: I had unsweetened yogurt (it’s very sour, and I love that stuff) with fresh raspberries and a handful of cranberry granola, all washed down with a small glass of freshly squeezed OJ...

LUST
How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies, family, strippers, locker rooms)?
Shoot, I’ve lost count...(just KIDDING...I haven’t a clue!)
How many people have seen you naked (not counting physicians, family, locker rooms, or when you were a young child)? What kind of questions are these? Who keeps track of this stuff?
Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a person of your chosen sex during a normal conversation? I’m stealing Terroni’s answer here, because it’s absolutely accurate and I can’t improve on it: No, I was looking at...uh...you had a piece of lint there.
Have you ever had sexual encounters (including kissing/making out) with multiple persons? Sheesh, no!
Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? Not to my knowledge...

ENVY
What item of your friends would you most want to have for your own? If we’re talking stuff, I can’t think of a thing...
Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with? I absolutely LOVE my house, and all of my stuff, and there’s no one I’d trust to make changes in it, so I’d never go on Trading Spaces...
If you could be anyone who existed in the world, who would you be? I can’t imagine being anyone else...now, if I could meet anyone who existed in the world, I have a long list, starting with Mark Twain...
Have you ever been cheated on? Yeah, and take my word for it, it was not a good experience...
Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? From the time we were kids, I always wished I had my brother Dave’s beautiful coloring...ash blonde hair and sky blue eyes...
What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself? Self-confidence...I always doubt myself.

What deadly sin...
Do you do the most often? Sloth.
Do you do the least often? Envy.
Is your favorite to act on? :) Lust...

Double the pleasure, double the fun...

Ah-HA! Check this out: Nigeria's 'land of twins' baffles fertility experts

My fraternal twin sons, Mike and Chris, are now 22 years old. When I found out I was carrying twins, I felt as if I’d won the lottery. Actually, by the time they were ready to be born, I felt as if I were carrying the lottery...all in coins...they weighed 8 pounds EACH...carrying twins is HARD work...

But back to when I got the news...I remember, I was lying on the examining table in my doctor’s office, and his nurse had just confirmed the diagnosis with a sonogram. “Woo hoo!” I exclaimed. “That is GREAT news and I am SO excited!” My doctor looked at me, grinned, and said, “Jude, in all the years I’ve been practicing, I have to say, that’s the very first time I’ve heard THAT reaction to news that a woman is carrying twins...”

I don’t have a family history of twins, so I was curious as to how this had come about. I mean, I know how it came about, but with the result that I was carrying two...how had that happened? I had my own theory, which was basically that I had willed it to happen (I very much wanted two more children), but ...I wondered if there were a more logical explanation. I read and read and read...this was 1985, pre-internet...and eventually, I came across an article that said that there was a tribe in Nigeria with the highest fraternal (two egg) twinning rate in the world, and the diet there was heavy in yams...so one theory was that the heavy dose of phytoestrogens in yams causes women to release multiple eggs when ovulating. I was fascinated by this theory, because I love yams, and ate a lot of them in November 1984, coincidentally the month that the boys were conceived...
Over the years, when people have asked me if twins run in the family ("Well, they do NOW!" I quip), I’ve talked about the yams linkage...only to observe their eyes glazing over as I wax eloquent about it, as if I were making it up...which I’m quite capable of doing, by the way, but in this case NOT...and now, today, here, on Yahoo’s Most Popular News stories...confirmation! So check it out...and if you’re thinking you’d like to have twins...go eat some yams!

pleasures of Fall...

Xander came over this week, took a look around, and said, "Judi, it's beginning to look a lot like Fall in your house!"

:) He is so right. This is my favorite time of year, and my house looks and (thanks to Pottery Barn's Autumn Spice candles) smells a lot like fall. Except for a leather chair in my gameroom, all of my furniture has slipcovers. I'm a big believer in slipcovers. The fire was an excellent reminder (whether I needed one or not) that stuff is just stuff, and as much as I enjoy my stuff (and I do), it must always come second to people. A well-lived life is messy, in many, many ways...thus, slipcovers...because when a glass of wine is spilled, a slipcover can just be peeled off and tossed into the washing machine, no big deal.

Xander and Katharine changed out the off-white denim slipcovers of summer for the brown velour of fall and winter for me this past week, with this result:

I love this time of year. The front yard is filled with leaves, and yesterday afternoon we tossed a frisbee around out there for a while. Xander will have the pleasure, as all of my kids did, of building leaf houses before those leaves are cleared away. It's 80 degrees today, but if the weather cooperates and turns cool (as I think it eventually must), soon it will be time for chili, served with crisp crackers, grated onion, shaved sharp cheddar, and dollops of sour cream; for steaming bowls of homemade onion soup with cheese and croutons; for James Beard's fragrant and delicious chicken with 40 cloves of garlic, served with slices of a crusty french baguette to soak up the the liquid...and this is the time of year for oysters on the half shell (I had some last week, and they were soooooooooooooooo good!) to say nothing of Thanksgiving...in just a couple of weeks, we'll have the pleasure of Mike's company again...life is good...

taking back my life...

So I’m steeped in corporate life these days...well, steeped in corporate life at work...at home, for better or for worse, I’m my usual free spirited self, doing what I want to do, e.g., more Beethoven last Thursday night (6 & 5); reading a lot of fiction lately, then up on the roof Sunday afternoon repairing the siding and touching up some trim. In spite of sustaining a life-threatening fall as a kid I never developed a fear of heights, and I’ve spent my fair share of time up on the roof of my house in the 23 years I’ve lived here. However, the highest point is 37' above the ground, and last Sunday, walking around up there, I found Indigo Girl lyrics running through my head, specifically:

Up in an airplane
Nearer my God to thee
I start making a deal
Inspired by gravity

If I did wrong I won't do it again
'cause I can be sweet and good and nice
And if I have enemies they're friends
I hold on to my life
With the grip of a vice...

Yeah, I realized that at 58, my roof walking days should probably be a thing of the past. No mishaps, but I admit I was happy to climb back down the ladder and feel the ground beneath my feet...

A couple of weeks ago, at work, I attended a full day of mandatory corporate training on how to better organize Outlook, with the idea that having done that, everything else in our lives that requires organization would fall into place. The workshop was run by a guy who was a total dweeb, and it was about as exciting as watching paint dry, to listen to him. I realized that most of what he was saying didn't apply to several of us when, early in the morning, he urged all of us to turn off our e-mail notifications, "and just check your e-mail once a day..." Uh-huh. In an ideal world, that might work, but I spend a great deal of time at work in a computer program that has some...problems...with the result that some days, several times a day, all of us who are working in that program suddenly receive e-mails from one of the programmers saying, "WARNING! The system has to be rebooted! Log out NOW!!!" Dunno what would happen if I ignored those, and don't wanna find out. While the dweeb waxed eloquent about the wonders of Outlook, my mind wandered, and I realized there are some areas in which I could stand to be more organized, although none of them were at work, where I'm nothing if not compulsively organized.

So I made a list of things I need to work on in the rest of my life, with the result that, yesterday afternoon, I left work early and went and signed papers to refinance my house. I switched to a fixed 15-year mortgage a full 2 points lower than the loan I had, and I borrowed some additional money to finish up repairs needed to sell the place (e.g., remove the pool and replace the fence), plus I’m paying off the credit card debt that I incurred after the fire.

All of which feels...strange...I admit it feels good to be exchanging the outrageous interest rates on the credit cards for one low fixed rate, but...I always feel so out of my element when dealing with money, and I know I’m not the only woman who feels that way. Put me in a small room with an adult or child having a full blown discussion with voices no one else can hear, coming from people no one else can see, and I'm fascinated, and in my element, but to have to deal with bankers or time management experts or car repair guys...those are the rooms, and people, I always want to go running from...

Hmmmmmmmmmmm....

Happy Halloween!

I love Halloween. These two pics are of a neighbor's house, just a few doors down from me. Their daughter is in college, and their son is 14, but they still knock themselves out putting up a wonderful Halloween display each year, and this display, of 2 giant spiders, complete with web, is over the top! Xander took one look, last week, and decided he wanted to trick or treat on my street.

When my kids were young, we always had a Halloween party. I enjoyed it at least as much as the kids did, and we'd start planning it about a month ahead of time; what games we'd play, what our costumes would be, what the theme would be. Some years we spent crisp, sunny afternoons in pumpkin patches, looking for the perfect pumpkin to carve into the scariest/funniest/strangest Jack-O-Lanterns, and some years we made do with what we found at the grocery store, but always we washed and roasted and salted the pumpkin seeds and ate them afterward.

I have a costume closet in my house, and it contains many of the costumes that I made for my kids over the years. Hanging in that closet, even as I write, are the following costumes: ET...sewn by me for Alex when she was 6. I spent an entire week feverishly sewing that costume, using a Vogue pattern. It has not only a lining, but an interlining...what was I thinking? Then there's the genie costume that Katharine fancied when she was 7...the grey poodle skirt from when Kath was 10...Alex's blue crayon costume from when she was 11...Mike and Chris' pumpkin costumes from when they were 2...I'm sure you get the idea.

And then there was the year that Mike and Chris were 7. They were cubscouts, and I was in graduate school, but I was also their scout leader, and we'd invited all the boys in the den to our house for a Halloween party. The boys were serious fans of Captain Hook, so we'd decided to have a pirate theme for the party. In keeping with this plan, I'd sewn black velvet eyepatches for all the boys, and Mike, Chris and I had spent some happy time one evening placing those patches and many other little treasures inside the brown paper goody bags, in anticipation of that party.

A couple of nights before the party, I made a late night run to the grocery store. I'm not sure why, but I've noticed there are always a number of seemingly random items stocked at odd places in grocery stores. For example, there might be a cluster of cellophane bags filled with those little green plastic toy soldiers hanging right above the Tide laundry detergent...and I've never known if this is because some childless store manager thinks a kid having a meltdown in the laundry aisle might be placated by those things or if it's simply because some stock clerk got distracted...
Anyway, as I perused the aisles late that night, enjoying a little well earned time to myself, I spotted one of those stock juxtapositions...a vertical display of beautiful little red velour pouches filled with fake gold coins, in the feminine hygiene aisle (of all places!). I couldn't believe my luck! I remember thinking to myself as I pushed my cart, at high speed, toward the display, "Wow, the only time I've ever seen these foil covered chocolate coins in the grocery store is close to Christmas! How cool is this?" I quickly pulled a dozen bags, each holding 5 coins, off the rack and tossed them into my cart, thinking, "I can't believe my luck! These'll be perfect for the boys' goody bags..." Feeling proud of myself, I pushed my cart toward the front of the store, ready to check out. Ha! Was it my imagination, or did those two women I'd just passed, fellow late night shoppers, give me a look? The neighborhood elementary school was filled with competitive Moms, and just as it occurred to me that I probably wasn't the only Mom hosting a pirate-theme Halloween party that year, I began to feel a little smug, because it appeared that I may have been the only Mom who'd had the good fortune to stumble on this cache of foil covered chocolate coins which, coincidentally, I'd depleted...yes, that's right, the entire display was in my cart...which got me to thinking, I hadn't checked the price, and as money was a consideration...I turned my cart around, wheeling it back down the aisle, past the 2 women who were definitely scrutinizing me as I walked past, sheesh!

I felt incredulous and my heart sank when I saw the price: $5 for each bag of 5 coins! Shoot, the red velour bags were pretty, and the coins were big and GORGEOUS, but $5 a bag? What kind of exotic chocolate was this? I picked up one of the pretty bags and examined it carefully, straining to read the fine print on the small tag, because I wanted to see why these chocolates were so prohibitively expensive. I felt my face growing warm, and suddenly knew with awful certainty that my face had just turned the same bright red as the velour pouches as the following words, in small print on the tags, came into focus: "features silicone lubricant, reservoir tip, golden color and a ribbed texture for your pleasure..."

Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrggghhhh! I dropped the pouch as if it were on fire, and immediately shot a quick look around me, fervently hoping that no one who knew me, even slightly, was in the store. No wonder those women had scrutinized me! I'd been about to purchase 5 dozen "Extra Large! Extra Strength!" gold condoms, and had I purchased them, I would have dispensed them as goody bag party favors to a bunch of 7-year-old cubscouts...

What a party that would have been! My guess is, just about the time the parents were showing up to pick up their sons, all the little boys would have been happily blowing up condoms on my front lawn...although I have a feeling, had that happened, I might have gotten out of being the den mother right then and there...