Friday, October 14, 2005

UA Parents Weekend...

This morning my ex and I are flying to Tucson to visit Mike and attend Parents' Weekend at UA. I'm looking forward to seeing Mike and hearing how his classes are going. Mike has always been rather quiet and shy, and before he started college, he talked a lot about how he wanted to make the Dean's List, etc. He seemed to be approaching college as The Serious Student.

However, it appears his goals may have changed. In his infrequent phone calls home ("Mom, please send my..." (fill in the blank), or "Mom, please send me the recipe for..." - which always leaves me thinking, this sounds like the munchies, is he smoking pot?...anyway, in his infrequent phone calls home, he assures me that he's having a terrific time and is thoroughly enjoying himself in his freshman year at college. In his first couple of weeks in Tucson, he acquired a steady girlfriend (S, a math major, who sounds great and whom I'm looking forward to meeting), a lot of new friends, and a Longboard (a super long skateboard), on which he apparently zooms around campus (all 6'2" of him) between classes.

In a recent phone call ("Mom, when EXACTLY are you and Dad getting in, and when are you leaving?") in response to my asking how classes are going, he answered vaguely, "They're going OK!"

"What does OK mean? How's English? Tell me what kind of grades you're making. Be concrete!"

"Mom, it's not the end of the semester yet!"

"But surely you've had some exams, or done some papers. What about midterms?"

"Ummmmm, they don't really give midterms here..."

"Michael, I want to know right now how you're doing in your classes!"

"Mom, I'm doing OK...B's and C's..."

"What happened to the goal of making Dean's List?"

"Mom, I've come to realize that my friendships are as important to me as my classwork, and I'm trying to find balance between the two."

Ha! I give him an A+ in BS-101.

In addition to seeing how Mike is doing, I'm also looking forward to attending the college football game on Saturday (UA Wildcats vs. Stanford). I LOVE football...all those big guys moving across the field...that is TRUE poetry in motion insofar as I'm concerned. I was a huge Cowboys fan for several years, and one year when I was a cubscout leader, I rescheduled all the den meetings so I wouldn't miss any of the Cowboys' games. I know, I know, they had some rotten guys, but to watch The Triplets passing the ball down the field...and I had a terminal crush on quarterback Troy Aikman.

A couple of light years ago, I briefly dated a former professional football player. Jimmy had been a special teams guy for several years for various teams, including Da Bears, but when I dated him he'd retired from all that and sold cellphones, and coached kids' football camps for fun.

I usually go for brains and a sense of humor. Jimmy had neither, but he spent a lot of time at the gym, staying in shape, and he could bench press massive amounts of weight. He spoke very little, and when he did speak, it was in a monotone. His standard response to almost any question was: "Cuz," (pause), "I'm an ATH-leet."

"Jimmy, why do you drive this car?"

"Cuz..............I'm an ATH-leet."

"Jimmy, what do you mean you don't eat fish, why not?"

"Cuz.............I'm an ATH-leet."

"Jimmy, why are you 45 minutes late?!?!?!"

"Cuz.............I'm an ATH-leet."

Come to think of it, I don't even know if he could read, but that was irrelevant, because we didn't exactly spend our time together discussing literature.

Of course, the relationship couldn't last. I ended it when I realized that as much as I liked having my own private arm candy, (or, in this case, The Big Rock Candy Mountain) the real turn on for me, even over a guy who can throw the ball, will always be the guy who can tell me that the actual term for the shape of a football is prolate spheroid...even if that guy is a little dweeby. Now, if I encountered such a guy, AND he looked great, AND he was athletic...


A girl can dream.


V said...

Hehehe, I really enjoyed that!
Mike sounds like he`s adjusting like most freshman! You know, at Penn State, it`s assumed that kids will take 5 years to finish their degree! (By the kids, not the parents!)


emmapeeldallas said...

LOL! 5 years! The lyrics from Rawhide come to mind: Rollin', rollin', rollin'...keep them doggies rollin'...move 'em on, head 'em up, cut 'em out, ride 'em in...whatever it takes...



Jackie said...

You are so funny!! I was laughing throughout most of your entry! I can't stand dumb guys! Eye candy or not! lol Of course ,if you never had to leave a horizontal position than who cares! lol
My son doesn't attend college but if he did I'm afraid they would probably be best friends. while attending that BS 101 class! Too funny!

Keep dreaming, girlfriend! Brains AND Brawn! Ahh yes! *wink*


stansgirl said...

Hello from NYC
Stoped by to say hello saw you on Liza's map

Lily said...

lol If I man like that exists, I'll be shocked.

Does sound like Mike is having fun lol And he definitely could get an A+ in your "suggested course" lol

Hope you have fun!


Paul said...

Signed, sealed, delivered...and, as you know, bi-lingual.

Mary said...

You crack me up! Sounds like Mike is also getting an A+ in FUN.

bosox said...

did anybody ever tell you about Cowboy great, Lance Rentzel?

De said...

Judi you are too funny! Hope you are enjoying the great state of AZ. I don't know about Tucson, but it's partly sunny & 87 degrees here in Phoenix with rain & cooler weather over the next couple of days barely getting out of the 70s (gasp!). Your description of your son is pretty funny. I think I can remember my college days and trying to find the same balance. I didn't get on the Deans Honor Roll until much later when I went back to school for my Nursing degree. So..there is hope afterall! Can't wait to hear about your visit. ;) De